If I don't wake up to the sun

Wow. I feel really dumb a lot.

I've been feeling down the last few days. No energy to exercise. And then I keep using the weather as an excuse. "Oh it's raining. Can't go walk now." As if I couldn't put on an exercise tape and burn through an hour workout inside.

Being depressed makes me eat. I've noticed that lately I've been craving chocolate and cookies more. I've also been snacking a whole lot more. I'm doing that thing where I eat even when I'm not hungry. I read this really awesome thing on Jillian Micheal's newsletter about keeping a feed journal and before you eat something, ask yourself, "Am I hungry? Do I need this food? Am I feeling depressed/happy/sad? Why do I want to eat this?"

This might be something I look into doing. I am a notorious writer and journal keeper. It wouldn't be hard for me to tote a notebook around with me all day and write every time I feel the need to sneak that third ice pop when I already had a snack.

Like I said, besides the eating, I haven't felt inspired to move. For instance, today, I didn't walk or do a video. It's bedtime and I was just going to crawl in bed without having done my crunches and weights, even though I know its just a small thing and won't take five minutes. I just didn't have the motivation to do it (or anything lately).

I was snooping on netflix for something to watch, or was going to look up old shows and the "10 Minute Solution: Carb Burner" came up on my top 10 recommendations. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. I've got ten minutes. I'm not doing anything else. Why not? I haven't moved at all today and surely I can handle ten minutes.

Hah, when I found out the video is 55 minutes long, I almost backed out before giving it a chance.

I made some space in my room and turned the volume up enough to barely hear it (our house is small and it was almost 1am, everyone else being asleep). I watched the intro explaining that there are five 10 minute workouts and I can choose to do one, some or all.

I just went with the first workout, in my pajamas and no shoes or socks.

It was actually pretty good! I keep the movements small but I felt better for having moved around. In the video I recognized quite a few of the movies from doing the Self: Your Best Butt, Fast video. It was like learning a new dance with the same moves, I was already a step up and didn't feel quite so intimidated. Though the lady instructor is very fit and FAST.

If she were a pokemon, she'd have SUPER AGILITY power.

Sometimes it looks like I'm watching a fast forward. Seriously, watch her arms whip around.

Okay, well I did the 10 minutes and I'm about to go do my weights and crunches. Just this little burst of movement is a reminder to myself that I'm not hopeless and I can accomplish this. I may have bad days, but I still can push through and MOVE.

Fast and Furious

Just a quick update.

I spent last week at Disneyworld. While I didn't do any workouts besides walking around the parks (and walk we did!), I was kind of afraid that I would gain weight while on vacation. We ate quite a few meals at the nicer restaurants and I finished my food almost every time. I also have to mention, even with all the walking, my feet never got sore. Score!

Well I got home Saturday night and promptly hopped up onto the scale, 208.4. Sunday morning when I woke up I was 206.6. That means, ladies and gentleman, that according to the BMI scale, I am NO LONGER obese!!! This also means I've lost over 20 pounds since starting this blog!

I feel fabulous about it! C even mentioned as I walked in the door getting home that I looked awesome :)

I even got a tan on vakay. I, personally, think I'm starting to look pretty nice. And I feel awesome about it too.

Accomplishing this goal, it just goes to show that I CAN do it! All through high school and the last couple years, I've been in the mindset that I'm fat and it's okay and I look nice enough. Even though when things don't go right and I never have any romantic interests, my first thought is always, it's cause I'm fat. I always tend to scan the group I'm with and think, wow I'm the fattest one here.

And finally I'm taking charge and showing myself and everybody else that I can change my life and diet and exercise habits and be the me that I've always wanted to!

Wow this was meant to be a quick update but I kind of rambled off. I'm just soo happy and pleased with myself! Now that I know that I CAN do this, it just makes me even more jazzed up to keep going and get down to a healthy and good weight for me (not to mention a sexy one!).