Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Don't Give Up On Me

In high school, we only had to take PE one semester. That was my spring freshman semester and we barely had to do anything. Most days we "dressed out" into gym-ish clothes and then sat and gabbed about everything. It was good times for a new girl who had just moved to a new state. It was bad times for starting a legacy of sedentary lifestyle.

Towards the end of the year, our PE teacher told us that the US was doing some survey and thus he needed everybody's height and weight. The powers that be wanted to track heights and weights of all students blah blah blah. So he rigged up a scale to where the only people who could see the numbers was the person on the scale and him.

I really appreciated that he did that. I already knew I was bigger than most of my classmates, but being 15 is hard and I would have been mortified if any of my classmates knew exactly how much I weighed.

I stepped onto the scale and the number flashed in red squared letters right back at me: 190. I weighed 190 pounds my freshman year of high school. And then my PE teacher said to me, quietly so no one else could hear, "You carry your weight really well."

Dumbly, I'm sure I nodded back at him and then went to sit down, glad the whole ordeal was over with.

In the back of my mind, I knew I ran over his words for days though. Was that a compliment? Was that an insult? Did that mean I was too fat? Did that mean that I don't look as fat as I really am?

Years later, this moment came to me last night while lying in bed, wishing I could just instantly drop 5 more pounds overnight.

I think the moral of this story is, even though I may weight a lot, I can still look good and feel good about myself as I continue life's journey. I'm working my way to a better weight and I can be amazing while doing it.

Keep up the good work lads and ladies!

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